


keep pushin' forwards (keeps pullin' me backwards)

by NerdsbianHokie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Closeted Alex, F/F, FWB, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 15:11:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15731970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdsbianHokie/pseuds/NerdsbianHokie
Summary: Lucy has new rules about Alex. She does her best to follow them.





	keep pushin' forwards (keeps pullin' me backwards)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](https://youtu.be/vaMlBJoGhgk) video Jenna Dewan posted, which is def nsfw, btw, and, by extension, New Rules by Dua Lipa.

i

_ don't pick up the phone _ _  
_ _ you know she’s only calling 'cause she’s drunk and alone _

Lucy’s eyes flicked to her phone as the screen lit up, as it started to vibrate on the table. A picture of a dog on a surfboard appeared.

“No,” Vasquez said.

Lucy rolled her eyes. She brushed the salt from her fries off of her fingers, then snagged the edge of the phone case with the pad of her finger and pulled it towards her.

Vasquez snatched the phone before Lucy could pick it up. They looked at the screen, then turned it towards Lucy.

“X? You just have her as X in here?”

Lucy reached out for her phone, only to have Vasquez pull it out of her reach.

“Do not answer anymore.”

“Vas. Give me my phone.”

“She’s drunk.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do, because you say she always is when she calls.”

Lucy picked at the basket of fries. “Not always.”

Vasquez narrowed their eyes. “You have told me enough about this girl. You need to cut ties.”

Lucy sighed, ran a hand through her hair. The call ended, the phone screen going back to her lockscreen.

“Lucy.”

“I will, I will. Okay.”

“This girl is dangling you on a string,” Vasquez said. “Calls you when she’s drunk and wants to get off, then refuses to even admit she’s not straight in the morning.”

The phone started to buzz again, the surfing dog coming back.

“She’s persistent,” Vasquez said. “I’ll give her that.”

“Can I have my phone back?” Lucy asked, holding her hand out. “I won’t answer it, promise.”

Vasquez turned the phone so they were looking at the screen. “Maybe I should answer it, tell her to fuck off.”

Lucy’s stomach dropped. “Don’t you fucking dare. Give me my phone back.”

Vasquez raised an eyebrow, but passed the phone back. “Just forget this girl. She’s not worth what she’s putting you through.”

Lucy stared at the dog, then rejected the call.

ii

_ don't let her in _ _  
_ _ You'll have to kick her out again _

Lucy’s footsteps were soft against the hardwood floor of her apartment. Her fingers worried with the cuffs of her sweatshirt arms.

Her fingers trailed up the door, the texture smooth beneath her fingertips. She pressed close, lifting up to her tiptoes to look through the peephole.

Tall, dark clothes, short hair.

A deep breath.

Palm flat against the wood.

She pulled back, pressed her forehead to the door.

The door vibrated as three more knocks sounded.

Lucy’s fingers curled, knuckles pressing into the door, fighting the urge to drop to the doorknob.

She had to remember what Vasquez had said. She had to remember what she had decided.

It had to stop.

She couldn’t keep going back, couldn’t keep letting her in. It was only going to continue to shred her heart to pieces.

Three more knocks.

An audible sigh.

When Lucy checked the peep hole again a few minutes later, there was nobody there.

iii

_ don't be her friend _ _  
_ _ you know you're gonna wake up in her bed in the morning _

Glass clinked together as Lucy stacked the cups left on the table.

“You would think a group of grown adults would be better at cleaning up after themselves,” she said, walking towards the kitchen.

Alex scoffed. She took the glasses from Lucy and started to put them in the dishwasher she only used when she hosted game night.

“At least they’re better than my college roommates,” Alex said.

“I’m so glad I never had to deal with that.”

“No roommates at Harvard?”

“Had my own place.”

“Lucky.”

Lucy chuckled, moving back to the couch and piles of pizza boxes. She tossed the paper plates and napkins into the boxes, then closed and stacked them.

“Where do you want these?” she asked.

“They can stay there,” Alex said. “I’ll take them out later.”

Lucy nodded, grabbed the pile of unused silverware and headed back to the kitchen. She set them on the counter, then leaned back against it. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, avidly not looking at Alex.

Which proved to be a mistake when she looked up to find Alex stepping towards her, a concerned look on her face.

“You been okay the past week?” Alex asked.

Lucy’s stomach twisted. “Yeah. Why?”

“You’ve just-” Alex shrugged “-seemed distant.”

By not coming everytime Alex wanted sex.

“Just work keeping me busy.”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, I get that.”

She looked Lucy up and down, bit her lip for a moment, then reached up to twirl a lock of Lucy’s hair around her finger.

“You busy now?”

Lucy stared at her.

She knew what her answer should be. She knew that she should grab her purse and go, that she shouldn’t have offered to stay behind and help.

She knew she was going to get hurt when Alex woke up and decided, once again, that she really was straight and it was either stress relief or just for fun.

She pulled Alex in for a kiss anyway.

iv

_ if you're under her _ _  
_ _ you ain't getting over her _

Alex’s ceiling had a swirled pattern to it. Lucy had practically memorized it, the amount of times she lay awake, Alex’s arm over her hips, Alex’s breath on her skin.

Her body still hummed with pleasure, but her head was storming and her heart in shreds.

Alex hummed in her sleep, rolled over so she was no longer latched to Lucy’s side.

Lucy let out a deep breath. She let her head fall to the side, looking at the profile of Alex’s face.

It had to stop. She had to stop.

Before Alex destroyed her.

Before she let Alex destroy her.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are amazing and give me life, thanks :)


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